1. Silence usually spells trouble.
It feels like it’s been a while. I guess I’m out of the blogging groove. I’m mostly in the same place with food…unfortunately. I can’t seem to break this cycle of emotional eating (and crazy intense sugar cravings) and now I want to lose weight again, and it’s all making me a little…nutty. I get really upset that I haven’t lost weight faster. I get really upset that I eat as a comfort for being upset, lonely, sad, whatever. I get really upset that losing so much weight hasn’t changed more about my life.
I get it, I should be happy and proud with what I’ve accomplished but I still have a way to go. I’m not yet in a healthy weight range according to Science (I’m 5’3!), and I still have a fairly high percentage of body fat. My brain is getting in the way of my body, and I need it to back the EFF off.
2. Work it.
Despite all of that food drama, I’ve been loving my workouts. I’ve either been doing yoga, walking, or the elliptical or sometimes a combo of all of those 6-7 days a week. I really want to get stronger though so I can feel more confident in yoga! My core and arms are just generally weak. I’ve never, ever kept up a strength training routine, so saying all of this is probably just talk for right now, but I’m thinking after my European vacation (in a month !!!!) and after I’m settled in a new apartment (who knows when, at this point) I’ll sign up for cross fit. IT’S TIME.
3. I tried to go low carb
….For a week and it ended in an entire day of consuming froyo and chocolate chip cookies. I love fruit and vegetables and oatmeal. I’ve always been into more sweet than savory, meat and cheese just doesn’t satiate me. At least I ended it after a week and didn’t push something that doesn’t feel natural. Progress? Meh.
4. I’ve been trolling the Weight Watchers message boards.
Not trolling in the mean way, but in the “just reading, not participating” way. Not that that is any less creepy...
Anyway, when I first started losing weight this time, I kicked it off with three months of Weight Watchers online and my favorite part was the message board of those who had to lose 100+ pounds.
Lately I’ve been feeling so ALONE in what I’m going through, so I turned back to those message boards just to feel some kind of community. I’m not going to lie, I’ve even thought about signing up again. I’m ANTI-DIET, but I know meetings might offer some support that I just don’t feel like I’m getting.
It’s hard. I have so many wonderful friends and family but no one can relate to losing this much weight, and more importantly, still struggling to lose weight.
Whether it’s going shopping for new clothes, emotional eating, losing so much weight but still having more, there is no one for me to go to who just GETS IT. I’m feeling so unsure about everything that it might just be nice to have a group to vet all these things with.
Does anyone remember the show Ruby? It was about 500+ pound Ruby Gettinger and her struggle to lose weight. It aired for three years and I recently got into it via Netflix. Anyway, she created a “Woman’s Fat Night” where her and her other fat friends would get together and talk about all issues of emotional eating, being fat, etc. I want that.
….Anyone want to take part in Woman’s Fat Night? I’m 100 percent serious about this, if anyone really is interested. We can even make shirts with these hippos. LMK. K?
5. Protein bar obsessed
I don’t know when I decided that protein bars or shakes were lazy meal replacements but man, I can’t stop eating them. My favorite bars are Quest (going through all the flavors now….Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough is pretty wonderful) and Think Thin, especially Brownie Crunch. I’m pretty sure my brain just think they’re candy.
I’m also a big fan of Designer Whey protein powder. With my Ninja blender I can add almost an entire tray of ice and get these really fluffy, chocolate ice cream like shakes. It’s amaze.
Do you have anything to confess?