This blog has been all kinds of serious lately so I thought I’d go with something fun for Friday. There’s tons of advice out there about how to lose weight, master your cravings, motivate yourself to to go the gym, etc. But here are a few pieces of wisdom that are go beyond what you would typically expect when you lose a lot of weight.
9 unusual consequences of weight loss
1. Gazing in the mirror at your new-found collarbones is now an acceptable reason to be late to work, meeting with friends, a date, anything really. It’s hard not to get lost in those clavicles.
2. Your body, without all of the extra fat, will forget how to regulate its temperature. I am cold ALL THE TIME. I’ve read a few other accounts of this on weight loss blogs and forums so I know I’m not crazy or severely iron deficient or something. Apparently your body eventually adjusts, but until that happens get used to lugging around some extra clothing, even in the summer.
3. Compliments about how “good” or “healthy” you eat will always be followed by the complimenter taking a giant bite of something like a juicy hamburger or slice of cake.
4. You will have dreams about food. Often. Not like, daydreaming, but legit dreams where you eat a whole bunch of food and wake up in a cold sweat thinking you’ve gained 10 pounds. If you’re going low carb, your dreams will probably involve bread and pasta. I’ve cut out sugar in recent weeks and the other night I woke up thinking I just consumed a year’s worth of candy. Terrifying.
5. Your moods will range between Hangry and Superior. Hangry at kids eating ice cream. Hangry when coworkers bring in treats.
You will feel immensely superior, however, for about an hour after you work out or anytime you look at someone else’s cart in the grocery store. Enjoy these moments.
6. You can’t unlearn the calories in a pint of Ben & Jerry’s, which by the way, is not a single serving. Other things that will haunt you: the calories in a Crumbs cupcake and movie theater popcorn. That shit is OOC.
7. Your friends will eventually get used to never being the one to choose a restaurant unless the menu has been thoroughly vetted by you first.
8. You can’t drink like you used to before you lost all the weight. This stays true no matter how many times you drunkly shout about being able to hold your liquor while stumbling around.
9. Your clothes will fit right for approximately three days a month. The rest of the time they’re either too big or too small. Invest in belts.
That’s all folks! Have a great weekend 🙂