I’ve been kicking around some thoughts about being fat.
Thoughts that make me feel vulnerable.
Thoughts that are hard to process, and even harder to write.
But that’s the point of the blog, right? To write through the discomfort. To share, perchance, to grow.
It’s well documented that the experience of being fat is not a pleasant one.
I’ve often felt that anything I had to say, or just my being, was dismissed immediately because of my size.
It’s the feeling of being invisible.
Just look at any major news organization talking about the so-called “obesity epidemic” – what photo do they run with their story? Most likely, it’s a headless fatty.
How do these messages affect our society?
How did these messages affect me?
They left me scared – confirming the feeling that I was, in fact, being ignored and overlooked because of my weight.
And the photos, the images of rolls and cellulite without heads that are blasted on TVs across the world, left me without a voice.
The results of the non-existent, but extremely visible and media-friendly “obesity epidemic” is a shame-fest on fat people.
If you’ve read this blog for more than a few days, you know that I’m all about promoting the idea that you can, and should, love and accept your body at any size and weight.
This war on obesity, which is supposed to, I guess, get people to lose weight, is instead taking the experience of the fat person out of the conversation.
In my utopia, bodies are as they exist.
Doesn’t that sound more peaceful than a war on fat?
But I struggle with knowing these things and my lifestyle of actively losing weight.
I’m the body that news organizations talk about. When I see these stories, I don’t see headless fatties, I see me.
When I read stories about fat children being bullied, being discriminated against, being forced to diet, I mourn for my own childhood of similar experiences.
I’ve lost weight because I’ve rediscovered love and acceptance.
I’ve lost weight because I’ve reclaimed space for myself to exist and my body as being worthy of attention.
I’ve lost weight because I’ve stopped, and outright refused, to be at war with my body, no matter how many advertisements and magazines and news pundits tell me I should be.
Dieting is harmful and dangerous.
And I worry, a lot, that dieting is something I’m promoting with this blog.
Let me be clear here: Dieting is the devil.
The body you have now is yours for the rest of your life.
Please, don’t waste another second believing it is anything less than perfect and deserving of all the love you can give.