Great(er) Expectations

I’ve tackled a lot of things in my 1+ year of losing weight.

But there’s one big thing I still feel like I really struggle with: social eating.

Honestly, when I decided I was going to lose weight, I stopped eating out with friends. I literally asked my friends not to ask me to dinner. Pre-weight loss I used to meet friends for meals all the time, never turn down an invite to a party and was always up for splitting a bottle of wine.

For a while I threw around excuses.

“I don’t have the money to eat out” – usually true

“I already ate out a couple times this week” – rarely true

“I’m really trying to lose X amount by X date, so after that I can go to X restaurant” – this meant it was never going to happen

I skipped SuperBowl parties (“I hate watching football!”), I skipped invitations to friends houses for dinners, I skipped impromptu nights at the bar.

Bloggeer Lisa Eirene (lost 110 pounds!) recently wrote about a party she went to and her strategy for eating without going overboard and it got me thinking about my own strategy (i.e. being MIA) when it came to eating out.

And with a wedding Saturday (hello, buffet!) and Memorial Day barbeques coming up, I think it’s about time for me to learn how to eat reasonably without a food scale and measuring cups.

My strategy for holidays and other gatherings before had just been to give myself permission to eat whatever I wanted for that night. I know it’s not the best way to approach things, but I also know that nights like that are RARE and not reflective of how I eat 95 percent of the time.

But, I think I can do better than that.

I want to strike a balance between not obsessing about the calories and giving myself room to eat things I might not normally eat without the feeling of coming to an oasis in a desert and stuffing myself.

You see, my eating habits don’t make me feel deprived now, but that’s because I’m not around foods that I would rather not eat.

When I’m around foods I don’t normally eat in a social setting, I sometimes feel pressure to eat them or eat more than I normally would so I don’t feel….diet-y.

Some of this comes from not wanting to deal with people commenting on what I am, or am not eating, and some of this comes from the mentality I had growing up…where if I didn’t eat all the “bad” foods at a party, I would never have another opportunity to at home. My parents usually just threw the food out or hid the food, so it was always a “now or never” thing…which of course led me down the road of binge eating.

Anyway, this is starting to go off in too many directions.

Moral of the story: I can learn to leave my food issues behind and eat “normally” in social settings, but it’s going to take work and effort, just like everything in life.

Let’s move on to…The Numbers:

Starting weight: 243

Last week: 169

This week: 168

Change: -1

Total loss: 75

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4 thoughts on “Great(er) Expectations

  1. This was a big thing for me. I knew I couldn’t NOT live my life while losing weight. I had to figure out how to incorporate those social occasions into my life. I did a post on healthy tips while dining out and another on the fact that I’m not on a diet. Yes, it’s been really slow with the weight loss, but I’m guessing these small changes will make it more permanent! The downward trend is what matters! Cheers~

    • Glad you are able to navigate those things – I need to figure out how it’s going to work for me..but it’s good to hear that it can work! lol

  2. Thanks for the link!

    When I was trying to lose my 100 pounds I stopped eating out. I never had to make excuses for why I wouldn’t, most of my friends understood and were supportive of my goal.

    I knew that I couldn’t stay within my calories if I ate out, and I knew I wouldn’t lose the weight if I started making exceptions… “Just this one time I’ll go out for a cheeseburger…” It was very restrictive but it worked and it was only temporary. I did that for about a year and a half and then I found a better relationship with food and my body.

    This is not to say I don’t still struggle! But it gets easier. 🙂

    • I have to be really strict and I don’t mind…but I feel bad always saying no to friends…a lot of them still ask and it’s hard because obviously I want to. Thanks for the input…makes me feel more normal! haha

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