12 ways to beat binge eating

I’m having a hard time dealing with stress this week.

 

My desire to binge eat is HIGH. The feeling that stuffing my face with food will somehow make my troubles disappear seems ridiculous when I write it out, but it still sounds like a wonderful idea when the little voice in my head whispers it sweetly.

 

Instead, my more rational self proposes I make a list to deal with my feelings in a much less harmful way.

 

Here we go.

 

Things that will make me feel better that do not involve eating everything:

1. Walking/running/dancing around my apartment.

2. Journaling.

3. Cooking.

4. Decluttering/organizing/cleaning my apartment.

5. Talking to friends about what is bothering me.

6. Creating my dream kitchen on Pinterest.

7. A glass of wine.

8. Painting my nails.

9. Watching videos of cute animals on YouTube.

10. Taking time before bed and upon waking up to be thankful, express gratitude and give myself empathy (note: need to work harder on this one!!)

11. Be mindful and conscious that stress is triggering the desire to binge eat. Honor the desire, listen to the desire, and then let it go.

12. Stay in the present. Breathe.

 

 

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Victor Frankl

Fantastic four and weigh-in

You guys…!

I finally broke through the 5K distance rut and ran FOUR MILES on Sunday!

I went into the run feeling good, motivated by a new music playlist, cool weather, fresh legs and my Zensah compression sleeves. I hadn’t planned on achieving a new PDR that day, but I was so happy that there was no pain in my shins that I decided to push it!

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It was tough! I relied on intervals of 10 minutes running/1 minute walking to get me through. Overall the 4 miles took about 53 minutes (13 min/mi), which I know is slow for most people – but I’m proud!

But while my shins are okay….my calves are not! I’ve had a few really painful charley horses this week

I’m great at hydrating Monday-Friday…but then the weekend comes and I forget to drink water and subsist largely on coffee…and sometimes wine…

I was woken Sunday morning by muscle spasms in both my calves..and then  the spasms struck again when I took off my compression sleeves after the four mile run. Does anyone know why this is happening?

I was under the impression that muscle cramps come from being dehydrated…which I definitely was…but if you have another reason/idea that might help, tell me! I know that lack of potassium can also be a possible cause, but I used to get them all the time when I was eating a banana a day, so I’ve ruled that out.

I’ve been doing some extra stretches to relieve the pain, but my right calf is still tight.

In other news…I made mini frittatas this week and can’t get over how cute (and yummy!) they are. I (kind of) followed this recipe from Nom Nom Paleo. I left out the meat and just went with onions, broccoli and mushrooms for filling. I also paired down her recipe to make just 12.

Now….The numbers:

Starting weight: 243

Last week: 172.5

This week: 172.5

Change: 0

Total loss: 70.5

These oats were made for talking

I was really craving oatmeal this weekend after going without my favorite breakfast for a whole month! I didn’t want to forgo protein altogether, however, so decided to make stove-top oats with whipped egg whites.

I’m not sure why I never tried it before, after seeing recipes for such all over the internet. I think I thought it would be difficult or something. Not true. I followed Andie’s method at Can You Stay for Dinner? but changed the measurements a bit.

In the bowl:

  • 1/2 cup Quaker oats
  • 1 cup water
  • 1/2 cup liquid egg whites
  • 1 tsp chia seeds (optional…but I think they help increase the fluffiness)
  • vanilla, cinnamon, honey

Follow the directions from her recipe exactly and prepare yourself for the most amazing bowl of oatmeal you will ever eat. Fluffy, creamy, and really, really filling. I’m officially in love.

In honor of my grand return to oatmeal this weekend, I thought I would share with you some of my other favorite oat recipes, from more of my favorite bloggers.

  1. It all began with the KERF method for making banana-whipped oatmeal. This is, without a doubt, the recipe that got me hooked on oats.
  2. For weekends, I go with oatmeal pancakes, recipe by Carrots ‘n’ Cake.
  3. My fall oatmeal staple: Fannetastic Food’s Pumpkin Pie Oatmeal.
  4. And my go-to summer breakfast: KERF’s overnight oats

Oat-tastic! heh 😉

ALSO.

Have you noticed the changes to the blog?? I finally got my own domain! After freaking out for a bit, I think I finally settled on a design I love. I hope you like it, too!

Also, also – I added a “Contact” page…so you can email me if you have a question or a comment or something. I also added every weigh-in from the beginning under the “Weight Loss” tab. There you can find a link which will open a spreadsheet of my weight loss progression from October 2010 to now.

Happy Monday!

Love your fat photos, too

Earlier this week I was looking through my photos for a picture of my nephew to post with his birthday announcement, when I stumbled upon an old photo of myself.

One from when I weighed around 240 pounds.

My face looked so round, my cheeks so puffy. It was like someone had added an extra ring of skin around my face. I didn’t remember looking like that.

There was shock, And, truth be told, sadness.

And then I got angry that I felt sad.

Those photos are me. The same me that is sitting here right now.

I’m always a little bothered when people use “fat” photos as a reminder of what they don’t want to be for the same reason I feel that being disgusted with your body is not a good motivation to lose weight.

Because, as I’ve said before, you can’t hate yourself thin.

As I was looking through the photos, I stayed conscious of what my inner voice was saying, realized it was negative self-talk, and decided to turn it around.

If I’m going to continue moving forward in this way, believing that I can incorporate fat acceptance beliefs into a lifestyle where I’m also actively trying to lose weight, tuning into my thoughts is going to be critical.

Where I am now is only possible because I loved the person in those photos. I believed that person deserved a full life. I let go of the notion that being fat also meant I was sentenced to a lifetime of unhappiness.

I decided in that moment that I was not going to look at old photos and feel sadness, pity, or regret.

Those photos are just me, at a different time in my life, and obviously were taken in a moment that I wanted to remember. My weight in those photos did not define who I was then, just as my weight does not define who I am now.

Accepting and loving your body doesn’t just happen. It takes hard work, just like any change you want to make. You have to chose to do it every day, especially when confronted with something like old photos. That’s when it is the most important to not slip into a negative space.

It might feel weird at first, if you are used to bashing your body, but if you catch yourself enough times during negative self-talk and switch to a body-positive message, it will become a habit. And it will, of course, be worth it.

“The mind is everything. What you think you become” – Buddha

I’ve moved!

Hi!

Last night I officially made the switch to self-hosting my blog.

I’m still working out some kinks, but it is up and running so get on over there and check it out!

FatornotBlog.com

See you there!

Jodi 🙂

10 awesome things not about my weight, and a weigh-in!

1. I’ve been making a ton of excuses about why I haven’t gone to the gym. I haven’t seen my trainer in over two weeks! I always think getting up early is so much worse than it really is but once you’re awake for five minutes, the feeling of wanting to die subsides haha. So on Monday I bit the bullet and forced myself to stay awake when my alarm sounded. I laid in bed for a few minutes listening to the birds chirping when it dawned on me that it was probably warm enough to walk to the gym! That thought alone kicked my butt into gear. The gym is about a half mile from my apartment, an unbelievably perfect distance. I used to walk to the gym in the morning all the time and totally forgot how lovely morning walks are. I see morning runs in my future…

2. All that being said about the gym, I’m really happy with myself exercise-wise this week. I got outside everyday and either walked, ran or hiked and had a blast! I’m so blessed to be living in an area with tons of cool parks, walking paths and hiking trails right outside my door and took advantage of all that nature this weekend.

3. Fun fact: I get sausage fingers really easily when walking from all the blood rushing to my hands. For prevention purposes, I pretty much do all of my walks with what I can only describe as floppy jazz hands. Attractive, right? Stare on, people, stare on.

Source: joannemattera.blogspot.com via Kathy on Pinterest

4. And in case I wasn’t already drawing enough attention to myself at the park with my floppy jazz hands…the Zensah compression sleeves I ordered came in the mail this weekend! I’m pretty sure that the pain that has halted my running progress recently is just from shin splints. I remembered Allie at Live Laugh Eat had awesome results with the Zensah sleeves and decided to go for it. I’ve worn them a few times for recovery after the long hikes and walks this weekend and have had no shin pain, so it’s possible they are working but the real test will be running in them.  I am itching to get past the 3-mile running mark and go further and faster so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they help with the pain.

5. I’ve officially hit the one month mark on paleo. I’m going to stop doing weekly updates. One, because I don’t really feel that I’m following a true paleo diet, more that I’m incorporating paleo principles. Two, weekly updates are super boring. Will I continue eating the way I’ve been eating? ABSOLUTELY. I have so much energy! The change in the way my hunger feels is also reason enough to keep up with a higher protein/lower carb plan. When I started, I honestly didn’t believe I would see that many changes, but I’m totally a believer now! Also, behold this delicious bun-less burger I got at Smash Burger on Sunday. Yum.

6. I made chocolate coconut flour cupcakes (with applesauce!) this weekend from this recipe and am pretending they are muffins so I can eat them for breakfast. Don’t hate. Also, I recommend making them, because they are delicious, but if you’re the kind of baker who follows a recipe exactly, don’t click that link. I found a lot of the measurements to be off and ended up making a bunch of substitutions to get the sweetness/consistency that I wanted. I’m absolutely addicted to the taste of coconut flour. So…coconutty!

7. I can’t stop eating baby carrots! Maybe it’s because I started buying organic carrots, or because I cut down on my sugar, but these babies (pun intended!) have never tasted sweeter. I snack on them throughout the day. Try them with sunflower seed butter and thank me later.

8. I successfully partied smart this week. With all my new-found energy, I’ve been making more time to see my friends, which generally includes a lot of going to bars. I like drinking as much as the next recent college grad, but honestly, it doesn’t make me feel good. I hate being hungover, and truly, alcohol really messes with my mood. I’m way more likely to be sad the day after drinking too much. So this week I stuck to a one to two drink limit, and sometimes no drinks at all, and had a great time! Yeah, it’s a little embarrassing ordering water, or explaining to all your friends why you aren’t drinking, but I’d much rather be in a temporarily awkward situation than regret my actions the next day. Plus, I’m way better at darts when I’m sober.

9. It’s officially Spring!!

10. Monday was my  nephew’s 5th birthday! I’m not saying this just because my amazing sister reads every single word I write (Hi Stacy!), but my nephews have been an unbelievable source of inspiration. I think about them a lot when I’m running and the thought of their ridiculously cute faces keeps me going. I’m glad they will get to know me as someone who puts 100 percent into life. Happy Birthday E!

On that note….The numbers:

Starting weight: 243

Last week: 174.5

This week: 172.5

Change: -.5

Total loss: 70.5

Fat Acceptance: A Love Story

I had a huge moral dilemma when I first started this blog. I did not and still do not want to promote diet culture. I know I have written some things that have done that, and it truly feels like a betrayal to myself and of how I actually feel about losing weight.

I’m in a hard place because on one hand I am actively trying to lose weight, but I know the only reason I’ve lost any weight is because I’ve accepted being fat.

I know that doesn’t make much sense on its face, but stick with me for a bit, folks.

Fat Acceptance. If you don’t know what it is, start here.

I’ll wait.

The thing is, I’ve gotten a lot of compliments over the last couple of months about my weight loss, and while I know people are being nice, I’m slightly, ok really, uncomfortable with people seeing my weight loss as inspiration.

Why?

Because I believe you should love your body the way it is right now, and I don’t want anyone to think that my life is better just because I wear a smaller size. I’d much rather promote body acceptance than weight loss.

It’s because of Fat Acceptance that I’ve managed to be healthy at all. Through reading Fat Acceptance blogs every day  of others who were living full, wonderful existences as fat women, I realized I could too.

My life, the one I wanted and dreamed of, didn’t have to wait until I was skinny.

People diet, I assume, because they are unhappy with their bodies. But diets are absolutely not the answer to this problem. You know what might be? Not letting your fat body stand in the way of going to the gym for some endorphin-producing, stress-reducing exercise. I don’t know if going to the gym will help you lose weight, many studies say it won’t, but I do know that your mood will absolutely improve from getting your sweat on.

My self-esteem grew immensely when I stopped believing a diet could change my life and started living exactly how I wanted to live. Me. With my fat body. Right at that second and not after I had lost weight.

Or, from the New York Times:

The aim is to behave as if you have reached your “goal weight” and to act on ambitions postponed while trying to become thin, everything from buying new clothes to changing careers. Regular exercise should be for fun, not for slimming.

Living a life that embodies Fat Acceptance means that I do not pay attention to the things people assume about me for being fat.

And when I truly understood that, the years and years of not living because I was fat ended. And so did my struggle with my weight.

That’s the truth.

I feel like I live between two worlds right now. In one world, I want to lose more weight. In the other world, I know I’m living life exactly the way I want to and that my weight does not have an impact.

It’s an internal struggle and the whole reason I wanted to start a blog.

Right now, I can confidently say that I am healthy and fit. Would you know that by looking at me? Probably not. And these are the kind of societal evils that I have dealt with my whole life and that seep in to my brain and act as sabotage.

Fat Acceptance is about seeing fat as an adjective for your body, not your person. It’s also not an adjective that is synonymous with “bad.”

I can write and read that, but what I really need to do is be feeling it.

Because, truthfully, At 174.5 pounds, I sometimes feel worse about my body than at 243 pounds.

I’ve been wrapped up in the excitement of losing weight, but instead of making me happy, it’s left me feeling like I’m not good enough when I don’t lose weight and that’s a dangerous place that I really don’t want to be in.

I’m putting my struggle with this out there, because really I want to spread a message of Fat Acceptance, not weight loss. This is who I am, Jodi, fat or not.

Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you. – Lao Tzu

Quick Coconut Shrimp Curry

I know I’ve struck gold with a recipe when my taste buds crave it night after night.

And that’s exactly how I feel about this super quick and super easy coconut curry shrimp dish.

It’s bold and flavorful with a hearty amount of spice and feels rich and creamy even though it contains only a teaspoon of oil and light coconut milk.

Quick Coconut Shrimp Curry

For one

Ingredients:

  • 6 oz of frozen, cooked shrimp
  • 1/3 cup light coconut milk
  • 1 tsp olive oil
  • 1/2 tsp chili powder
  • 1/2 tsp curry powder
  • 1/2 tsp garlic powder
  • 1/2 tsp minced ginger
  • For more spice, add in a few shakes of crushed red pepper flakes

Directions

  • Thaw frozen shrimp following directions on the package.
  • In a pan just big enough to lay all the shrimp flat, heat the olive oil. Over low heat, add in all the ingredients and stir until the spices are well mixed and any clumps are gone. Lay each shrimp flat in the pan. Because these shrimp are already cooked, you are really just warming them. They can become tough and chewy if cooked too long, so only cook until hot, a minute or two on each side.
  • Remove the shrimp and cover to keep warm
  • Turn the heat on the pan all the way up and cook the remaining liquid, stirring constantly, until the sauce reduces and thickens. Pour over the shrimp and enjoy!

Wednesday Weigh-in and Week 3 Paleo Update

Hello!

I really feel like I hit my paleo stride this week. The first week was a huge adjustment, I was definitely going through some carb/sugar detox and my head felt cloudy all the time. Last week involved a lot of thinking, planning and learning and this week following the paleo diet has been almost, well, natural!

Brussels sprouts, asparagus and onions seasoned, ready for roasting!

I want to reiterate that I am far from following a paleo diet strictly. When I began, I said my goal was to be consistent, and I’m very happy to report that I absolutely have been consistent. Striving for perfection, I feel, is just undue cause for stress and burnout and eventually failure. I’m loosely going by the 80/20 concept, where I’m following paleo 80 percent of the time and not 20 percent of the time. This week that 20 percent consisted of Tasti D-Lite, Indian food at Brick Lane Curry House and a slice of homemade apple pie from a local farm. It was amazing.

I’m still shocked by how long I stay full with paleo-inspired breakfasts, lunches and dinners. Last week I did a breakdown of breakfast, paleo vs. pre-paleo, this week, lunch!

Pre-paleo my lunch was typically a salad of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, a half cup of chickpeas or a veggie burger and a homemade dressing of oil and vinegar. With the salad I would have 4-6 oz of fat free plain Greek yogurt and 1-2 pieces of fruit, something like an apple and orange or strawberries. For about 500 calories, this meal had 58 grams of carbs, 7 grams of fat and 24 grams of protein. Since beginning paleo, I’ve had the same basic meal for lunch every day. A salad of lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, 4 oz of chicken, avocado and/or almonds and dressing of oil and vinegar with no snacks on the side. This meal, a little lower in calories, around 450, has 23 grams of carbs, 28 grams of fat and 34 grams of protein.

Yes, it’s lower calorie, and less “things” to eat – but I’m so much fuller! Because avocado and almonds are high in fat and calories, I keep my portions on the small side, usually about 50 grams of avocado (maybe 1/4-1/2 an avocado, depending on its size) and about .5 oz of almonds.

Pre-paleo if I was hungry, I would also be very unfocused and find it hard to follow conversations or work or do anything that required effort. I needed to eat ASAP. It felt terrible and I felt like I was always complaining about being hungry. Pre-paleo, I could barely make it to lunch without wanting to chew off a finger or two and absolutely needed to snack between lunch and dinner. Most days I could barely even wait until 5 p.m. to eat dinner. It’s a totally different story now. From my 8 a.m. breakfast, I stay full right up until about noon for lunch, and if I’m hungry after work/before dinner, I will snack on some veggies and don’t feel like I’m in a rush against my hunger to make dinner.

Breakfast: Pumpkin coconut flour muffin, Fage Greek 2% plain yogurt and a dollop of sunflower seed butter

And like I’ve said many times now, I’m totally enjoying cooking more and trying out different recipes and flavor combinations. I’m really glad I’ve been tracking my food on MyFitnessPal this whole time, because I find it absolutely fascinating to see the break down of why and how my meals are different.

Sauteed zucchini and baby portobello mushrooms with chicken sausage

I’m not really missing any pre-paleo food, and if I want it, I eat it. Same rules as before. Restriction absolutely DOES NOT WORK for me.

This was another so-so week as far as exercise goes. I didn’t see my trainer at all – blaming the work schedule on that one – but I have gotten outside everyday to enjoy this unusually warm weather! My goal for joining the gym in the first place was not only to have somewhere to work out during the winter, but to develop a strength training routine. Ideally, I would like to go a few mornings a week to work on strength and walk outside during the afternoons. That would be a perfect workout plan for me – now I just have to make it happen!

The view at the start of one of my favorite running/walking paths

Anyway, enough babble, here are the numbers:

The numbers:

Starting weight: 243

Last week: 176

This week: 174.5

Change: -1.5

Total loss: 68.5

Apple Cinnamon Coconut Flour Pancakes

I have to admit, the star of these pancakes is not the apple. Or the cinnamon.

It’s the subtle sweetness of the coconut milk.

A stroke of genius by Shannon at Nourishing Days, from where I adapted this recipe.

She calls her’s Fluffy Coconut Flour Pancakes.

And oh, are they ever.

Just the right balance of wet and dry ingredients gives these pancakes the perfect texture.

They flipped beautifully, which is the number one factor I look for in pancake recipes.

I kept them small, like she recommends, and eked out three pancakes in a single-fied version of her recipe, with a few changes.

Apple Cinnamon Coconut Flour Pancakes (inspired by Nourishing Days)

Note: this recipe has been adapted to serve one person. The batter will be THICK, not like regular pancake batter. Keep these babies small on the stove. The batter should be enough to make three SMALL pancakes. I left out the tablespoon of sweetener from her recipe because I thought the coconut milk and apple would make them sweet enough, and it did. To make up for the moisture, I added an extra 1/2 tablespoon of coconut milk, which you see reflected below. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

  • 1 Egg
  • 2 TBSP Coconut flour
  • 1/4 Cup + 1/2 TBSP light coconut milk
  • 1/4 tsp Vanilla extract
  • 1/4 tsp Baking soda
  • 1/4 Cup Grated apple (about half an apple)
  • 1 tsp Cinnamon

Directions

  • Beat the egg with a whisk until it is frothy. Add in the coconut milk and vanilla and mix again.
  • Stir in the coconut flour, baking soda and cinnamon. Let the batter sit for a minute, it will be really thick! Then stir in the grated apple.
  • Heat a pan to about medium. Use a spoon to get the batter in the pan. For each pancake, I used about three spoonfulls of batter. You will not see bubbles form on top like regular pancakes. I flipped them when they slid around the pan with a little shake, after about 2-3 minutes.
  • These already have a great coconutty flavor, but I also topped with a few drizzles of honey. Get creative!