A few weeks ago, my gym began offering free spin classes. I go to a cheap, bare bones gym that doesn’t offer any classes, so this was pretty exciting.
Except, I had never tried spin before.
There are two thoughts that go through my head when I think about trying new things:
1. Am I too fat for this? I’m probably too fat for this.
2. It doesn’t matter if I’m too fat for this or not, other people will think I’m too fat for this.
Oh my god. Sometimes I think I got off “easy” compared to trauma other fat people face, then I become aware of my thoughts, and realize being fat has affected me in more ways than I probably realize.
It’s amazing what you hear when you start listening to your thoughts.
Rationally, I know I’ve been working out consistently for about a year, have run two 5Ks and have much more endurance than I did at 240 pounds. Also, there is that tiny detail of not actually being 240 pounds anymore.
There was nothing standing between me and that spin class except for my big, fat fear.
I was really nervous going into it, but just kept telling myself that I belonged there and I would be able to complete the class.
It helped that the instructor was really nice and because the spin classes are new at the gym, there were other spin newbies like me.
Since that first class, I’ve been back whenever my schedule allows it and have a great time every time. I leave so sweaty and so, so happy.
I know that part of the good feeling that follows spin are due to endorphins, but there’s a feeling of accomplishment every time I leave the class that I’m doing something I didn’t think I could do.
Losing 65 pounds has changed my life in so many unimaginable ways, the most important of which have absolutely nothing to do with how I look.
I hate watching TV when I’m on the treadmill or elliptical, so instead I usually stare into my reflection on the dark screen and challenge myself to go when I want to stop and do what I think I cannot do.
Today, let fear be your motivation to action.