I’m writing from an internet cafe in Calcutta where I’m staying with a friend. We’ve been out and about exploring the city, walking around markets and enjoying homemade Bengali cuisine. I’m starting to really miss my own cooking though! It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be to fit exercise and fruits and vegetables into my diet here, but I know that this is not a permanent situation so I’m just going with the flow. Lots of rice, fish, curries, chapatis, chai and sweets have been consumed in the process!
I’m reminding myself frequently to eat without guilt. I’m enjoying the food and the company immensely, and don’t want to spend time worrying about the nutritional or caloric value of the meals.
Sometimes it feels as if I am learning how to feed myself all over again. I’ve worked hard to shake the feelings of shame and guilt about eating, emotions that many fat people feel because of the stigmas in our society. It’s been a process and I know I still have a long way to go.
Right now, however, I’m vowing to live in the moment, enjoy my last week in India, and continue to feel grateful for my life and what I have accomplished.